The Modern Lawyer

The inevitable question, “What do you do?” As if reading from a script, people at almost any social gathering will move down their mental checklist and utter these four simple words right after feigning interest in your name and hometown. Because in our society one’s employment is viewed as providing an almost total insight into their personality, earning capacity, values, likes, and dislikes, the response to this seemingly innocuous inquiry will result in a label indelibly etched into the memory of all those within earshot. Members of certain vocations relish these opportunities, and stand with eyes wide and lips pursed, eagerly anticipating an opportunity to expound upon the many virtues of their chosen profession. For others, this is a moment of dread, when an otherwise pleasant conversation will become uncomfortable and tense, as you wait to see whether those with whom you are speaking will continue undeterred, simply sigh before prematurely ending the conversation, or, worse, go on an extended diatribe about how you and those like you are systematically destroying all that is good in the world.

In case you couldn’t guess, lawyers, along with anyone else who introduces themselves as a murderer, devil worshipper, or terrorist, are often on the receiving end of the tongue lashing described above. Generally, these moments present the ideal occasion to reflect upon the years of schooling, many stressful examinations, and mountains of debt accumulated in order to become part of this select class. Once the lecture has ended, there are a few moments to plead your case - i.e. that you are different, not like other lawyers, and that you really wanted to be a writer but you went to law school in the meantime - before your company disbands for the evening.

This was not how it was supposed to be. When I was growing up, being a doctor or a lawyer meant instant respect and admiration. Somewhere along the last few decades, doctors have managed to maintain their status as an honorable profession, while lawyers are regarded as ambulance chasing con artists, less concerned by the nuances of the law and the pursuit of justice than by trying to bilk every penny from powerless clients. In fact, I have repeatedly witnessed the greed and dishonesty of lawyers blamed for personal bankruptcies, the acquittal of dangerous felons, as well as vicious, drawn out divorce proceedings. Fortunately, it has been confirmed that the Titanic was sunk by an iceberg, or else there is little doubt that lawyers would have been held responsible not only for sinking the mighty vessel but also for the subsequent cinematic demise of Leonardo Dicaprio.

Can lawyers really be this bad? As with most complex issues, the answers are ambiguous at best. Surely, there are way to many of us, due in large part to the unnecessary proliferation of law schools and lax bar requirements that have made becoming an attorney more a matter of reasonable persistence than a case of tremendous ability. With the numbers crunch, lawyers unable to find meaningful work and having to repay huge financial burdens are likely more tempted to undertake cases and conduct themselves in a manner that a less desperate attorney might not, as contrary to popular belief, the average lawyer, including this one, is far from rich. Also, with this overabundance comes a sense of competition and rivalry among attorneys that does little to foster any sense of kinship that might make it easier to efficiently address the many problems facing the legal community.

In spite of these glaring deficiencies, I maintain that lawyers are really no worse than any other vocation. Look at the recent financial collapses of Enron and Worldcom, where an army of businesspeople and accountants conspired to defraud millions of people out of their hard earned pensions. Doctors have become less about healing the sick then pedaling Botox and liposuction to otherwise healthy individuals obsessed with their own vanity. Computer engineers and scientists have succeeded in creating a world of less human interaction and easier access to porn (which, I suppose some would argue is not such a bad thing). Real estate developers and builders help to turn swaths of pristine wilderness into cookie cutter duplexes and strip malls. Priests, once the essence of purity, are now at the center of investigations alleging child molestation. Yet, somehow these are the types of people who often feel that they possess the moral and intellectual superiority to condemn lawyers.

The core reason could be that whenever an atrocity is committed, the public sees the lawyer front and center answering questions in place of the accused. Therefore, even though we might not ourselves commit the appalling act, we are seen as somehow justifying it, as though carrying out our duty to represent our client to the best of our abilities makes us co-conspirators. The public still does not understand that being someone’s lawyer is not an endorsement of their views, or even a sign that you would like to have them over to your house for a fourth of July barbecue.

Let us remember that attorneys usually do not initiate lawsuits to represent themselves, but bring them on behalf of somebody else. Until we as a society can come up with a better means to settle our disputes, or possibly regain the medieval affinity for jousting, utilizing attorneys will remain the most effective method to do the job. Those individuals who continually harp about the wickedness of lawyers would probably have their objections fall on deaf ears if they ever had the chance to stage one of their patented sermons before the countless individuals who are unable to afford counsel and are defended by industrious, dedicated public employees, or the beneficiaries of the hundreds of thousands pro bono hours put in by lawyers and firms across the country.

Maybe it is telling that the main way through which I am able to extoll the virtues of my profession is not by pointing out our esteemed contributions to society, but to malign other occupations for their sins. Maybe these other groups would argue that I am overlooking all the good they contribute by stereotyping what they do and disregarding the principled majority in favor of focusing upon a couple of bad apples. Maybe, this is starting to sound a little too familiar, and you could mercifully spare me from having to spend my next night out listening to your trite and misguided rhetoric.

[Lawyer] [Vocation] [Doctor]