Taunting Tigers and Getting Drunk at the Zoo

There's an article in today's USA Today which says that the Christmas day victims of the tiger attack at the San Francisco Zoo had been drinking and smoking pot prior to the incident. The article also cites evidence that the three victims had been taunting the tiger, although there is disagreement as to the extent of the harassment. The Zoo spokesman, upon learning about these new facts, practically had an orgasm, saying "Those brothers painted a completely different picture to the public and the press," and "Now it's starting to come out that what they said is not true."

There are so many strange parts to this story, starting with the three victims. Call me conservative, but who gets drunk and high on Christmas? I understand that the chronic makes a great stocking stuffer, and I don't expect three dudes in their twenties to sip eggnog and sing carols all morning, yet taking a few hits just seems like an odd thing to do on Christmas. However, the weirdness doesn't end there, because where do you go after you've gotten all toasty from weed mixed with a few shots of holiday vodka? A friend's house? Maybe visit family? A restaurant? Of course not. You go to the Zoo, because there you can look at animals that are really cold and imagine them wearing Santa Claus hats.

Apparently, picturing exotic animals in festive Christmas attire wasn't all these guys did, as it is alleged they "yelled" and "waved" at the tiger from atop of her enclosure. According to Zoo Officials, this is most likely what prompted the tiger to escape from it's habitat and attack the men. Now, I'm not encouraging people to go out and taunt animals, I learned my lesson after a close encounter with a couple monkeys at the Great Adventure Drive Thru Safari in '89, but the idea that these guys taunting the tiger can be used as an excuse by the Zoo is ridiculous. I don't care if they waved, clapped, or flipped the tiger off with a diatribe full of the most foul, objectionable language, cursing everything from it's patented vertical stripes to it's limited fertility period that allows for reproduction only 3-4 days per year. The tiger doesn't understand. It isn't sitting on the grass saying to itself, "Hey, I think those guys just gave me the middle finger. Who the fuck do they think they are. Now, I've had it."

The bottom line is that it's the Zoo's job is to keep the people and animals separate, and this responsibility applies even when the people are drunk and acting like idiots. When you build an enclosure the tiger can leap out of, for any reason, you've failed at this task. I think the Zoo could learn a lot from legendary tiger handlers Siegfried & Roy, who not only taught us that German men have nipples, but also that while nature can become familiar, it will always be wild.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2008-01-18-tiger-attack_N.htm

[USA Today] [Tigers] [San Francisco Zoo]