Transformers the Movie

After a lot of procrastination, I finally saw Transformers the movie, from which we can learn 3 very important things:

1). Apparently, all black guys do is talk jive, dance, and try to avoid the wrath of fat grandmothers always up in their shit. Props to Pat, you were right.
2). It is actually paintful to watch Shia LaBeouf on screen. Was Carrot Top busy? All he did was stutter and blurt out random, incoherent phrases. If I'm the casting director I just go out and find a kid with tourettes and save myself some cash.
3). Fuck Meryl Streep and Jessica Tandy. Meghan Fox is the greatest actress ever, especially if you use the criteria I do for evaulating talent; how they look in a belly shirt while bent over the hood of a car. I rewound that scene so many times it took me 7 hours to watch the whole movie, although in my defense, its difficult to operate the remote control when your hands are practically glued together. Must've looked like a dolphin trying to wriggle free from a tuna net. Anyway, her first of many marriages will be to Brian Austin Greene of 90210 fame.

Where would we be without Michael Bay? Frankly, I don't want to know.


[Transformers] [Megan Fox] [Meryl Streep] [Jessica Tandy] [Shia LaBeouf]